Adam Porter 孙大龙

Went to the bank of China (?????today. I have my google cheque to pay in. Now I know the form, I paid in a sterling cheque from my grandma last christmas. It’s a kerfuffle, but such a thing has been done before. So before I deposit the google cheque , I decide to pay in an odd fiver (5 pounds sterling) that I have lying around. So I hand over the bank book I got when I paid in my grandmas christmas money cheque along with the fiver.

Now I know banking in China can be a bit of a struggle after the saga of grandma’s cheque, so I went to Ma’anshan City’s main branch to avoid the nonsense of unknowlegeable staff who say no rather than face a transaction that they don’t know how to handle, such as dealing with a fiver!

So I smile hand over bank book and fiver and get it handed back to me. Wrong branch, obviously. Fair ’nuff.

Go to original branch, as instucted, hand over fiver along with bank book. Not going to happen! But they said it was okay at the other branch. Tough!

Turns out, when I deposited grandma’s cheque they had to open a sterling account that only accepts cheques. SO a simple five pound note is far too complex for that system to handle! SO to pay in the fiver I must open additional account with new bank book etc. I put the fiver back into my pocket and notch it up to experince. they don’t want my money, they don’t get it!

So on to the google cheque. US $100.28 I know thay are going to charge me 30 Yuan RMB for cashing a foreign cheque. I nod. I was ready for that.. Of course, I’ll need to open a US $ account (Cheques only) too. Yep, I know, that’s fine, go for it. And it takes a month to get the money. Cool, say I, don’t need it right now anyway!

“Please cash my cheque, in a month, for a fee of 30 Yuan RMB, and into my brand spanking new US Dollar (cheques only) bank account” I grin, knowing I have finally defeated the system and she is going to have to cash the bloody cheque, patience is all you need, and things eventually get done.

She hands the cheque back. Sorry, this is dated 27th June. It’s expired, cheques are accepted for 3 months. New to me, Cheques can be cashed for 6 months surely, but no, three months is the rule, I’m wrong, she’s right, I am defeated at last. The google cheque is worthless and this has just been a wasted afternoon!

Wait a minute, June, so July …… August ……. September….. this cheque is dated 27th June so 3 months is not until 27th September.

“Please cash my cheque, in a month, for a fee of 30 Yuan RMB, which is dated within the made up three month limit, and into my brand spanking new US Dollar (cheques only) bank account”

Well, it will take a month to cash, so one of the three months is lost there, so when we made up 3 months as a limit we meant to make up 2 months, but as you are turning an odd shade of purple, we will try to cash it for you anyway, as you are beginning to scare the other customers.

Still took the fiver home. I couldn’t face that.

How does anybody manage to invest in this country?